aloha, my name is hannah leigh and i myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. i've been photographing this world for 18 years. 
Reblogged from mumueller
so this time last year i had a “best friend” named austin.
we met around december 08. i can remember our converstation happened over food. (of course) and our nickname for each other from then on became “fatty.”
i had plenty of friends that warned me about him. telling me how fake he was. not to trust him. just awful things. i doubted him. i confronted him. everytime i would confront him he’d get all depressed and want to just hide away. it’d make me feel horrible for even thinking these things. i began sticking up for him. because that is what friends do right? and i was a good friend.
we wouldnt talk everyday, but we would talk weekly.
he’d text me when things were going on with bandmates or with girls or with friends. (or even later on the stupid 3am texts! yay…not.) hed tell me how much he missed his mom since she passed away and how sometimes he just wants to escape and quit everything and start over.
i began to trust him and ignore what everyone had said about him (i did keep it in the back of my mind.)
i remember seeing him last june a week after of mice and men’s first show in bakersfield, ca. i was suppose to go and surprise him, but he knew about it. stuff happened and i didnt get to go. he got mad. he ignored me for a week until we both were in vegas. we hung out all night until 5am walking around, taking pictures, playing in grassfields on the strip at 4am. he told me he was so mad at me for not coming he just didnt want to talk to me. (understandable) *note: i also have 2 friends there that night, leslie and aj, who can also vouch for his actions.
our back and forth talking started again. yada yada yada this goes on for months.
around his birthday i got the text he finally got a girlfriend. late september, 2 weeks before i was suppose to go see him in jersey. i was upset yes. he called and called and i ignored and ignored and deleted his sappy voicemails. didnt respond back to his texts until i was ready. he texted me again the next morning while i was in a meeting. we talked about it. he explained things. i got over it.
the middle of october rolls around. i see him. give him his belated birthday present.
a doctor dachshund card, 2 mix cds called “the fatty mix,” a book, a baseball bat keychain filled with bubble gum, and birthday cake cookies. being his best friend i knew dachs were his favorite. he was suppose to play baseball (even go to college for it before his heart condition.) and a cd filled with songs he liked and cookies. (fatty, duh)
my two friends kimberly and amanda were with me that night. he was all over me. he was the one making all the moves on me. i was stand offish because of his girlfriend and things we have said to each other. sadly, we slept together. i cared about him. he meant a lot to me. when i left that night he chased after amandas car and jumped through the backseat window to grab my face and give me this cute passionate kiss. i was in like with my “best friend.”
a week later i was in vegas visiting my parents and friends. while out with michelle i got a text from austin saying he was driving past vegas on the way back to california and the luxor made him think of me and how he wanted to just jump out of the van and stay with me. pleaded these stupid words. we didnt go get him. he went back to california.
the next day he drove to see gielle (his gf.) i said whatever to myself. i began thinking back to what everyone had said about him.
a few days later he asked to keep what we did a secret. nobody could ever know. i sighed and agreed. i began to start believing everyone. about a week after that i got another one of his depressing texts about “i hate my life wah wah wah i just want to disappear wah wah wah nobody gets me i just want to quit my band wah” out of anger and my bitch side i told him to seriously get over it. he was alive and breathing and he could do what he wants. haha we didnt talk for a while after that. fine by me.
few weeks later we began talking again. texts every now and again. talked about life. about family. things going on with my little brother (who austin had met in june) my little brother loved austin. was one of his biggest fans until then.
come jan he finally confesses to gielle how he cheated on her. she confronted me. i confessed. i told her what had happened as he told me to just “keep quiet. dont write back.” i found out all these awful things my “best friend” had to say about me from her. also found out he cheated on her 5 times other than me. (that was confessed atleast.) i apologize to her over and over. i felt horrible. hes texting me he hates me and everything. WHATEVER. i told him everything that everyone had ever warned me about with him was true. he said “fuck that” and went off.
i was a great friend to him although he will only say i was nice to him because i “wanted him the whole time.” as i recall it took you 11 months to get in my pants. i was nice to you because i cared about you. you were my friend. someone i trusted. someone i defended to EVERYONE. you had the nerve to call me a “band ho” although i have only slept with 2 people. my first love and you. he said these things about me to her to try and push me off as the bad guy. i wasnt taking it. i am going to defend myself. i will not let you ruin my good name just to try and get yourself out of trouble. it takes two. own it. i don’t deserve that. nobody does. i did so much for you. for your band. and they just had to keep apologizing to me for your actions. it wasnt even their fault. you are a horrible person. now i know why you changed your phone number every other week the past year…you just kept fucking over too many people. using too many girls. you never wanted to get caught. you just want to keep being the fraud you are.
i’m not writing this out of hate or to create any sort of drama.
i just want people to know what kind of person he actually is. he is a liar. he loves getting attention. he loves using people. it kills me that these kids look up to him and worship him. my little brother use to. i wish the world could see you for all your egotistical, ignorant, fakeness. it is not fair for these kids. you are a joke. your secrets and lies will all soon come to surface.
and that my friend is your karma. now you can actually have a reason to be depressed. to want to just disappear and runaway. i hope you have a good friend like i use to be to put up with all that again. grow up austin. the world does not revolve around you. i do not hate you, but i do pity you. kicked out of 2 bands so fast. hm…maybe the 3rd times a charm.
team jerry roush all the fucking way.
and i will fully support the rest of of mice and men. they are great guys. positive. fun. friendly. down to earth guys. they are the ones that deserve the great, dedicated fans. they are the ones that actually care about them atleast. :)
and as jaxin said the other day…a quote from one of your songs “how can you say that youre me when its easy to see that your fake.”
have a great life austin and i wish you get everything you deserve.
I just took the time to re-read this. And still, just…wow. Fuck Austin Carlile. Team Jerry, ftw.
oh, wow.
W0W. TEAM JERRY!
team jerry, all the way!
